THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD IS WONDERING…
(…what’s with those crazy Americans! )

The American style of political warfare, particularly during one of our presidential election cycles, has always been a fascinating and puzzling spectacle of our brand of democracy in action for the rest of the world to watch. While we normally put on a good show, much like a grand three-ring circus event full of exciting acts, outrageous political hoopla, and just plain goofball clowns, this time around we seem to have strayed from that traditional script… leaving the whole wide world wondering…what’s with those crazy Americans!

This electoral cycle has been one of the most brawling, raucous, and wildly partisan ones yet experienced in our recent history, and it’s not over yet, because the fat lady won’t be singing until those nominating conventions have picked their respective choices for that final stampede to see who gets to grab the Oval Office…and maybe Congress too…next November. So there’s a lot of further hooting and hollering we’ll have to endure until then.

This is especially the case with the Republicans where the Trump dreadnought machine keeps roaring along, despite every brawling attempt to bring it to a halt, thus fracturing that party. Which may be leading our French friends to conclude the only rational explanation for such a situation is because we Americans have gone off on an absinthe-fuelled political binge. Any other accounting for this Trump phenomenon being incomprehensible, since absinthe is a well-known brain scrambler, and only scrambled brains could even consider a Trump presence in such a political fandango…his “cerebral” inclinations notwithstanding.

Meanwhile, since the rest of the world is quite conditioned to all sorts of political skullduggeries, it seems more inclined to believe in conspiracy theories to explain it all. The strangest of these floating around being that the whole thing is really a “stealth” maneuver by the Clintonites, who’ve made a secret deal with Trump to disrupt the Republicans and to so horrify the electorate at the mere thought of a Trump candidacy…that will guarantee Hillary’s election as the first woman President.

What makes such a conspiracy buff’s theory so plausible for some folks is that there have been long-standing ties between them (mainly as campaign contributions for Hillary’s senate campaigns), thus, not inconceivable. After all, what else could they offer a billionaire who has had everything… trophy wives…trophy properties and casinos…trophy airliner…trophy TV show, etc….so offering him a shot at a “trophy” nomination, along with the promise of a prestigious appointment once Hillary is in office, and, the further prospect of a profitable joint oligarchic empire thereafter…would be the perfect deal to make in exchange for such a Trump effort on her behalf.

If this seems a much too byzantine and weird scenario for the rest of us to believe, keep in mind there could be an even weirder outcome from it all. That is, as he has been known to do, Trump reneges on his deal with the Clintons, and instead, goes all out to somehow steamroll himself into the Oval Office. In such an eventuality our best fail-safe option, folks, will then be to seriously consider seeking political asylum in Canada, or even… Mexico.

God bless our America…ain’t it the light of the world?

CENTURION